Monkey puzzle trees

Smoke loomed in the distance, its origins still undetermined. I lay napping across the floorboards of the dingy, eyes shaded by the one book I'd managed to save, "The Gardens of South West England", by Percy Littleton, Esq. He was the man I was looking for. No ordinary botanist, this gentleman was gardener to the stars and the Royal Court. Known for his ability to coax tropical plants to grow in the British climate, Percy was the first to import the monkey puzzle tree. These wiry trees with felt tips ends line suburban Britain, and frighten children on winter afternoons with their demented shadows.

Araucaria araucana is native to Chile and Argentina. The story goes that one day, over a bottle of wine in a gentleman's house in the countryside, a dare emerged as the outcome of a heated conversation. It seems that Nigel Jennings challenged his host, a one Mr. Shelby Hadley. Now, Mr. Hadley enjoyed a good bit of fun, and betting was one his favourite indulgences. He was also reknown in his circle for being the jolliest and silliest of drunks. This particular evening was no exception.

Nigel Jennings, part fox, waited for Mr. Hadley's top hat to slide. It was at a precarious angle, to the point that one had the urge to go up to him and adjust it. His mustache and beard were littered with biscuits, and the remnants of champagne decorated his cravat. Nigel knew the moment was upon him, and used his silver tongue to convince Hadley to dare him to find the most unusual tree he had ever seen. Now of course, so legend has it, Nigel's motive was to find someone to finance his experiment of bringing over the monkey puzzle tree and testing it out in his own section of Kew Gardens. The next day, Mr. Hadley sent Mr. Jennings away with a bankers draft to fund this latest endeavor.

However, Nigel Jennings was also a man with little self control and an eccentric and unhealthy appetite for gypsy prostitutes. He did manage to technically deliver the first monkey puzzle tree to the soil of Britain. However, he died his first night back, only hours after his ship, "The Up Yours I" arrived in port at Southampton. Having offended the proprietor of The Thieves' Den, an established watering hole for those with exaggerated reputations, he found himself the centre of a good old-fashioned brawl. A broken bit of green bottle was lodged into his ribs, puncturing a lung, and drowning him.

Nigel had seen a lot of men pass before him, and he knew with clarity that his time would be up within an hour. Rather than fight this unfortunate twist of fate, Nigel did the sensible thing. He wrote a note and tied it around the base of the tree, requesting that it be delivered to a Mr. Percy Littleton, Esq. care of Kew Gardens. Then, he settled in with his favourite resident, Big Maud, and exited this world with a smile on his face.

Percy Littleton was awoken the next morning to the delivery of this unusual looking bit of botany. He saw the note from his friend Nigel, heard of his passing from the courier, and changed his fortune. It was at that moment, on his front door step in Putney that he had the vision- the monkey puzzle tree would be the middle class accessory of 1823.